Arguments are quite normal in the couple.
These, like heated debates, when they occur in moderation, can also help strengthen a relationship.
There is nothing inherently wrong with bickering with someone you love because you are both unique individuals with different beliefs and opinions.
That’s why we offer you 6 respectful ways to resolve conflicts in your relationship, without causing a break between you and your partner.
1. Learn to Listen
Listening is a powerful tool in arguments. Often, stopping to listen to your companion can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and fights.
The problem is, during an argument, you go through a state where emotions suddenly take hold of your body and you find yourself disconnected from reality if you are not careful.
It is important not to get overwhelmed. How? ‘Or’ What ? By choosing silence.
When emotions rush, instead of yelling what you are thinking, take a break and stay calm.
Allow your brain to properly absorb your partner’s words before speaking again.
There are few worse emotions in the world than feeling like your partner is ignoring what you are saying at all.
Or when he judges your words and rejects them.
This is why it is crucial that you make sure that your partner knows that you are listening carefully every step of the way.
You can do this by using mirror statements, in which you repeat what your partner says but in your own words to demonstrate positive understanding.
2. Don’t answer tit for tat
If your partner says something that elicits a strong emotional response from you, don’t respond right away.
“Let me think about what you just said” is a simple statement that you will find very helpful.
It’s a great way to recognize that you’ve heard your partner, while also giving your emotions a chance to calm down so you can respond without getting defensive.
3. Confirm that you heard it
After your partner has said what to say, confirm that you heard it.
This signal will reassure him and it will allow you to follow up calmly on your version of the facts.
Remember, understanding doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with everything that has been said.
It just means that you care enough about your relationship and family to listen and put yourself in your mate’s shoes.
4. Choose the right time to discuss the issues
If you have a problem that you want to work out with your significant other, it’s important to choose the right time to talk about it.
Worries will be better resolved if he is not already preoccupied and if he is in a good mood.
5. Learn to forgive
Apologies have a lot of force.
They are more than telling you that you were wrong, they are also a way of showing that you are ready to take responsibility.
Unfortunately, many people don’t offer a sincere apology, even when they’re completely wrong.
Indeed, research has indicated that “abusers” tend to choose to offer false excuses or even remain defensive or not to apologize at all.
Don’t fall for this trap.
Apologies can lead to sympathy, empathy, or just compassion.
They don’t mean that you admit you’re 100% wrong so don’t think of it that way.
If you are completely wrong in an argument, an honest apology is crucial.
To apologize properly, you must:
Say you are sorry;
Say where you went wrong, without shifting the blame;
Point out a way to avoid this in the future or ask how to fix your mistakes or if there is a way to make it easier for both of you.
6. Finds a center of common interest.
Find a passion or an activity that can become a ritual for both of you. Something you both enjoy.
You can, for example, go for a walk, play sports or read the newspaper while drinking a cup of coffee in the morning.
Casually, these things are important in maintaining your emotional connection. Many couples distance themselves because each partner has their own obligations.
Indeed, they have to work, see their friends … So, it is not uncommon to see two people move away if they cannot find something interesting to do together.
7. Wow him with your stunning beauty.
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to stop taking care of yourself. Indeed, you must continue to be interested in your appearance.
So you have to pay special attention to your body. Not only for your partner but also for yourself.
Make him want you every time he lays eyes on you. And, if you continue to take care of yourself, he’ll never want to look anywhere else for love and appreciation.
Disputes do not always have to be resolved with the agreement of both parties.
Sometimes they can end with tiny compromises. Sometimes through a new understanding or the acceptance of disagreeing, while respecting everyone’s opinions.
What matters next is that you and your partner focus on what you love about each other, so that you can work together to move past your worst differences.
And if you and your partner still have a hard time arguing after these tips, don’t worry – couple therapy is also a great way to help save your marriage.
So if your relationship is in danger, don’t be afraid to give it a try!